Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.
Becoming
These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.
The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.
These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.
Advisory Notes
These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.
One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.
I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.
Sometimes our idealistic goals break down in a drama packed moment – a moment where we think the end justifies the means. This is an incident, underpinned by shame, that I’ve remembered for years. A moment where I departed from my principled methods and paid the guilty price. My strategy director met me at the…
This story describes how sexual harassment plays out differently in the workplace depending on which gender is on the receiving end. These experiences showed me, again, how the power of male privilege shapes expectations and outcomes. It was the final stretch of what had been a long, competitive battle. One final dinner, with the prospective…
We evolved the ability to size each other up instantly thousands of years ago. Now, it is generally known through psychological studies, that our snap judgments of others are quite accurate. Separating friend from foe is all about self-preservation, after all. How we present ourselves to others instantly sets the stage for how the relationship…
There are many realities. And truth is often elusive. Is your work about shaping perceptions to persuade? Or, are you creating something for others to see and understand in a new way? Or, perhaps you’re creating simply for others to enjoy. Is the medium itself the message? Do you think about how what you create…
Do you remember a time when you made a clear shift in your life? A time when you went from being one thing to being another––a shift that changed you forever? I sure have. I bet you’ve had this happen to you too. I’d love to hear your story. If you have a moment send…
Lost your job? Lost the pitch? Dealing with a bully? Read this article for help.
Very little advice about asking for a raise tells you what to actually say. Here are some actual scripts and how to use them.
New essays, every week.
With an illustration.
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Also available on Substack.
You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.
— Larry Coffman, PublisherYour writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.
— Rick GoreWe can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.
— Sarah EskandarpourI loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.
— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore