Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.
Becoming
These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.
The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.
These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.
Advisory Notes
These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.
One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.
I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.
Asking questions deepens and enriches conversations, helping us build relationships with clients beyond the immediate project.
Many of the older men were missing one or more fingers. That was one of the first things I noticed at the farm. I asked and the word was, “People get relaxed around the machines over time, forgetting how dangerous they are and…” I was sixteen. It must have been the first time I realized…
A client told me this the other day (details changed to protect my client’s privacy). It struck me as classic. Sometimes, you gotta go with the flow. After ten years in Dallas, my wife applied and got accepted into the master’s program of her dreams at Washington State University. I’m in advertising. Spokane is the…
People chose to work with us first because they like us and second because we have the necessary skills. The DM lit my screen. It was a personal note responding to a very revealing piece I’d written about my childhood and posted on several platforms. It took me a moment to realize what I was…
I’ve been busier with client work than ever. Creative salaries are up, and more of my clients are negotiating new freelance opportunities and salaried positions than any time in memory. The following story is a composite of several of these ongoing negotiations. (Note: I’ve made changes in the following story, to keep identities private.) “They’re…
How to ask for and get the money. Or how I learned to dance with the fear in my lizard brain. Whenever someone I know, who runs a small creative firm, or is a writer or designer, tells me they struggle with asking for and getting the fees they need I always recommend the three-step…
I’ve made every one of these common mistakes… 1. I’ve waited for the “right time” to talk about money 2. I believed what was offered was non-negotiable 3. I settled for the first offer they made 4. I was so uncomfortable with silence that I lowered my ask 5. I was so happy to be…
New essays, every week.
With an illustration.
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Also available on Substack.
You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.
— Larry Coffman, PublisherYour writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.
— Rick GoreWe can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.
— Sarah EskandarpourI loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.
— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore