Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.
Becoming
These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.
The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.
These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.
Advisory Notes
These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.
One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.
I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.
Unrestrained pride in your abilities or achievements can lead to shame, humiliation, and—without correction—disaster. Excessive pride can sabotage your career. But unfortunately many of us experience a similar pattern: First we are strivers, then we are achievers, and then hubris takes hold. I’ve experienced this pattern more often than I care to admit. Maybe you…
In order to negotiate better, freelancers need to learn to love the fear of asking for more. (It’s not bravery or some magical power that helped me become a better negotiator; it was raw fear.) Fear can make us unable to think, unable to move. I’ve been so gripped by fear that my feet felt…
(published in Fast Company today) “I want to raise my rates from $90 to $125 an hour.” That was the first thing Jessica said on the call. It was followed by, “My accountant advised it.” Quickly followed by, “How do I tell my clients?” It’s a question I get asked all the time. Before I…
Sometimes, we are so scared of failure that we inevitably invite it into our lives. Here’s how to stop that from happening. The time was tight, the date near. I had an upcoming meeting for a much-needed new business for my design firm, and I knew that I needed to prepare. The thing is, we…
Lifelong lessons no kid should ever have to learn. “Teddy, what’s three times five?” It’s asked in a voice I can’t ignore. “Fifteen.” “And what’s four times five?” More demanding now. “Twenty,” I say, dreading the next question, knowing exactly where he’s going with this. Knowing, too, that tears are about to spill. They do.…
Standing between you and the offer is a hard-driving recruiter who’ll decide whether you get to meet with the hiring manager. What now? As soon as Mike walked into the room, the recruiter opened with, “I can’t believe you’re 15 minutes late.” Then, in a louder voice: “Don’t you have any respect for the company, for…
(As published in Fast Company, January 9, 2018) Stop trying to turn everyone into “team players.” Here’s how to set a baseline that everybody can commit to–no matter how different they are. When I started out as an illustrator and designer, I focused way too much on myself. I thought I was only expected to do…
New essays, every week.
With an illustration.
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Also available on Substack.
You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.
— Larry Coffman, PublisherYour writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.
— Rick GoreWe can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.
— Sarah EskandarpourI loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.
— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore