Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.
Becoming
These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.
The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.
These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.
Advisory Notes
These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.
One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.
I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.
In this interview, thanks to Colleen, I talk about dealing with bullies, getting paid in advance, the three-step close, thinking of negotiation as a research project, and replacing change orders with iteration fees. Along the way, Colleen shares her experience and insights as well, making it a lively discussion. Listening to it, I can hear my own…
I’ve been busier with client work than ever. Creative salaries are up, and more of my clients are negotiating new freelance opportunities and salaried positions than any time in memory. The following story is a composite of several of these ongoing negotiations. (Note: I’ve made changes in the following story, to keep identities private.) “They’re…
Awake. Suddenly awake. I remembered the noise I’d heard in the dream. I’d been running, running hard, and he’d been gaining. Awake now, soaked in sweat, I heard the noise again. Someone was in the apartment. I sat up and focused solely on listening. I heard it again. The moon was full, and I looked…
Late for my flight. Holding the wheel of the rental way too tight. It’s hot. The AC barely able to keep up. Damn car’s been sitting in the midday sun; the seat is still hot. My shirt’s stuck to my back with sweat. Leaning forward, to separate my shirt from the hot vinyl. Or is…
How to ask for and get the money. Or how I learned to dance with the fear in my lizard brain. Whenever someone I know, who runs a small creative firm, or is a writer or designer, tells me they struggle with asking for and getting the fees they need I always recommend the three-step…
The scent took her right back to that deep hole of loneliness. Brie paused before entering the old church, now a neighborhood venue. The geraniums: darkest red with a musky smell, framing the door in large matching pots. The scent from the loneliest time in her life. The scent always took her back to the…
When it came time to ask for the money the feelings that my work could be just a bit better would always lead me to ask for less than I should. Sound familiar? Your Negotiations for Creatives instructors, Jessica Knapp and I are working creative professionals. We both admit to lifelong struggles with the all-important…
New essays, every week.
With an illustration.
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Also available on Substack.
You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.
— Larry Coffman, PublisherYour writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.
— Rick GoreWe can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.
— Sarah EskandarpourI loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.
— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore