Fear and Change: My Story: High School (Part 3 of 4)
When I look back at my early life, high school stands out, because I had a mentor. My earliest years were filled with kind people — mostly women — who meant well, and even helped me discover my talent and prepare for the future. But it was in high school that I found the person who would be my touch point for years to come.
Fear of Failure
Entering high school, I had a strong vision of success. I knew I was smart even if I wasn’t knocking down the grades. I hung my vision of success on my art, but I had no idea how it would work. I was afraid of failing in life, but not so afraid of school. I dressed cool, smoked (naturally) and envisioned myself the artist.
Some smart administrator put me in art for both homeroom, where we started every day, and for actual art classes. Frank Fujii was our teacher. Mr. Fujii was cool. He played jazz every day in class while we worked. He was a real, professional artist connected to the downtown advertising and design community. For four years, I had Mr. Fujii twice a day, every day. He talked about humility, jazz and his work. I was enthralled.
At the end of my senior year, Mr. Fujii steered me to the Burnley School of Professional Art. At this point, thanks to him, I had some sense of what a professional artist did. And I’d had enough work as a janitor and cleaning houses that I knew that I had to get into Burnley or my life was not going to be good.
Burnley required a portfolio to enter. I slaved over that work, driven by my fear of failure. I still remember the day they looked over my work while I stood nervously by, fear churning my stomach and sweat running down my back while I waited for the verdict. I passed the test and was in. I felt like I was really on the road to escaping the Leonhardts and into my adult life.
Although failure was possible, I learned that there was a place for me, and that fear was an incentive to focus and make good things happen.
I want to hear if you’ve ever had a teacher/mentor like Mr. Fujii, or another teacher who stands out in your memory. Did she or he change your life — by consciously helping you achieve your goals, or by challenging you to do something no one thought you could do? Share in the comments or send me an email to ted (at) tedleonhardt (dot) com.
Read on to Part 4 Burnley and Beyond.