Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.
Becoming
These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.
The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.
These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.
Advisory Notes
These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.
One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.
I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.
Acting out as a fostered and adopted child was my norm. “The lights are out.” “Teddy! Wake up, wake up. The lights are out; we can go.” Larry was shaking me awake, eager to get going. I must have drifted off. Lights out meant parents were in bed and out of the picture on the…
I was fostered at birth and adopted at five months by the Leonhardts. I meant to make him feel bad. And I’ve felt guilty about it ever since. I was twenty-one and walking as fast as possible out of our wedding reception in the parish hall where Judy and I had cut the cake and…
Lonely and unable to ask why. A hollow ache filled my chest, an emptiness where belonging should have been. Across the way from where I was boarded, I could see my house –– a constant reminder of my loss. I yearned to be there. I ached for my room, my electric train, the yard…
With Dad’s hammer tucked into my belt, a length of rope looped around my waist, and a bunch of large nails in my pockets pressed against my thighs, I was ready to leave. I hadn’t figured on the roughness of the nails on my skin through my thin pockets. (My writing is personal. I write…
Mrs. Hays slipped on the wet porch step. The milk money basket hit the asphalt, spewing nickels, dimes, pennies, and YES, a few quarters across the playground. Gary and I didn’t hesitate. A few quick steps and down on hands and knees to gather the still rolling coins as fast as we can, not precisely…
“The speeding concrete truck killed my neighbor’s dog. Their boy is hysterical. The dog is cut in two.” I read it on Nextdoor and knew the boy’s pain. And it reminded me that I’ve been thinking about what evokes my feelings and what doesn’t. Afraid that I don’t feel things the way others do. And,…
I write this sitting in bed, remembering captivity. It was Saturday, and I’d slept in. “We’ll have peaches and cottage cheese tonight, Teddy.” This at breakfast. Mom liked to start the day on a happy note. I appreciated her intent and the moments we shared. Dad was mowing the lawn. Saturday stretched ahead unfilled, so…
New essays, every week.
With an illustration.
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Also available on Substack.
You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.
— Larry Coffman, PublisherYour writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.
— Rick GoreWe can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.
— Sarah EskandarpourI loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.
— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore