Comments on: How I Learned to Love Fear and Win Negotiation

By: Sacha Simons

Sacha Simons — Tue, 28 Aug 2018 04:16:01 +0000

You are right, instead of letting the fear eat you up, why not take an action. We need to do something about it, on how we will prevent it from overtaking us. We need to be in control. And the thing you said that instead of just sitting in the corner and do nothing, we need to talk to someone because it will help lessen our fears. I once had a fear of talking to the crowd because I am a shy type person, but I have learned how to overcome it because it is not doing any good to me. I must learn how to interact people because in that way, I know that I am making sense. top 10 writing services

By: Ted Leonhardt

Ted Leonhardt — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 17:39:19 +0000

In reply to Debbie Irwin. Hi, Debbie, thank you for comments. Yes, it can take time, but it eventually becomes second nature. Stay the course! - Ted

By: Ted Leonhardt

Ted Leonhardt — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 17:37:53 +0000

In reply to Mister H. Hi Mister H, thanks for your question. I suggest that you require a rehearsal prior to the presentation. And during the rehearsal discussion, let your team members know that you will have a few questions you’ll need to ask the client during the presentation. Rehearsals are always awkward, embarrassing and often painful. But once you’ve rehearsed, no matter how horrible the rehearsal was, you’ll feel much better during the big show. It’s invaluable to have said in advance what you plan to say and heard what others will say. And you’ve had a chance to nail down the timing and who will do what when. Best of all, you’ll have gotten your window to ask a few questions. - Ted

By: Debbie Irwin

Debbie Irwin — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 21:50:22 +0000

I’ve left this post open on my computer since I read it so that I can be reminded of the lesson–
To Ask is to Relieve– and hopefully get it ingrained in my consciousness.

It’s slow going. 🙂

By: Ted Leonhardt

Ted Leonhardt — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 16:54:59 +0000

In reply to Brian O’Neill.

I love your suggestion. I will begin inviting my fears to tea immediately!

Please send me the cartoon.

Thank you

By: Allison Durazzi

Allison Durazzi — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 19:20:19 +0000

In reply to Brian O'Neill. That cartoon sounds adorable! Your description reminded me of a Bianca Giaever video Ted shared a few months ago: The Scared is Scared. If you have a 5 minutes, you should check it out!

By: Mister H

Mister H — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 16:31:41 +0000

I’ve always struggled with having to present as part of a big team. Having a part to play rather than being the lead doesn’t give me as much opportunity to ask questions and establish that dialog with the client, or take action—which I agree, seems to be critical. Once I hear myself and realize that I don’t sound like a big idiot, I start to settle down. Without that, I’m even nervous about how my team members will judge my performance, and my confidence plummets. Any remedy for that situation?

By: Brian O'Neill

Brian O'Neill — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 15:26:33 +0000

First Ted, thank you for offing a forum for this kind of discussion. If it does nothing else, it names the “elephant in the room” and helps us realize that we all experience the emotional challenges of putting ourselves out there, be it as an artist, designer, consultant, etc.

I’ve recently begun to adopt a more friendly approach when trying to calm the “scary monsters”. Instead of seeing them as enemies and something I have to defeat, kill, or otherwise eliminate from my persona, I’m inviting them to stick around for a while and get to know them. Look at them directly and with curiosity, and not try to avoid the unpleasantness.

Now obviously one can’t do this when in the middle of a client meeting, but accepting the feelings as inevitable somehow gives them less power, and understanding my own “story” and self-doubts really helps when I’m in the heat of the moment.

I have a New Yorker cartoon on my wall which is a great reminder. It shows a small diminutive girl sitting on a couch in her living room and right next to her is a big red, horned monster. She’s got a teapot in her hand and the caption reads “More tea?”.