Monday, December 14, 2020

Creative drive

Read Time: .5 minute

Things that helped me escape
once seemed the answer,
when cars grew fins
and possibility seemed everywhere.

I remember in pictures.
I see it first, and the words follow.
With the words, meaning grows
from the pictures and the feelings
that lie under it all.

Now I know my creativity is
trying to fill the void we all feel –
trying to fill that hole no one ever fills.

Now I find my creativity driven by
my search for understanding.
I wonder what’s happened,
and why we have thousands
living on the streets.

And the police chief resigns.
And the mayor won’t run.
And the school supper’s out.

I see that they were fighting for change;
they were trying to manage competing
forces demanding and blocking change.

The contradiction is clear:
A city with wealth,
but a city government without enough
to rebalance police and services
to help those in need,
or to invest in children.

I feel the pictures.
And I search for the words
under the feelings
and wonder what it all means
and how to describe what I see.

Capital grows like never before,
and property with it,
while people sleep in their cars
or in tents in the park
because wages are below costs
and property is out of sight.

We don’t have balance or fairness.
And it fuels my need to create.

Just as I was once sure that
an escape into images was all I needed
for meaning to follow,
ensuring my entitled destiny
of wealth and respect.

And the images I helped create
enhanced my clients’ value,
while I rode the corporate jets
and walked the corporate halls,
knowing it wasn’t quite right
but driven to create anyway.

Driven by the exhilaration of
commanding the fees
and fueling my ego.

But I needed something more,
and without really realizing it
I began a new search
for a place to expand creatively.
Then the Covid arrived.
Long predicted, but ignored.

Covid pushed me hard,
and I find myself compelled –
the way I must have been
when tail fins first appeared.

I thought those fins were the answer
and maybe they were then, at least.
They played a role in
getting me started on
my personal creative journey.

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