Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.
Becoming
These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.
The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.
These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.
Advisory Notes
These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.
One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.
I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.
Heading home from my first day of second grade. The Alder and Maple are turning, but most leaves haven’t fallen. Reaching the wooded lot I push my way into a thicket, where I can’t be seen. Following my plan, I pull the crumpled check from deep in my pocket and glance around making doubly sure…
When we overpromise and underdeliver, it costs us big time. “I’m so sorry, but we need another week.” “But you promised! I have ta present tomorrow!” “I know, I know, but things changed, and we need…” *** When you make a promise and don’t deliver your client feels betrayed. They can be thrown into a…
The demon inside awakens. I’m curled in a ball. I should be running for the hills. Judy’s wildly waving a meat cleaver. It’s beyond madness. Both of us crazy. Her with the cleaver me with denial. Insanity embraced the event, the event that changed everything. *** I’m thirty years old. Judy and I have been…
It’s Thursday, I’m sixteen. Schools out, and I’m pounding down the hall at speed –– hoping I don’t get nailed for running as I hit the crash bar, slamming the door back harder than intended, hoping I can outrun any repercussions as I exit. Running hard across the asphalt playground –– with its weeds growing…
The keys to successful negotiations are inplace long before you reach the bargaining table. “Ted, if you decided to open your own business, I’ll give you all the Alyeska work.” Mike’s promise made my journey possible. We launched our business the following week. In that moment, Mike Dederer of Jay Rockey Public Relations became my…
My mother’s thoughts and feelings from the past. The covers are leather. Dark red leather. Green leather. Occasionally, pink leather. A few had little straps to hold them closed, with a lock. All worn from years of handling. All smelling of old paper slowly breaking down. Little books with lines and dates. Some had places…
I think of negotiation as investigation. When I investigate, I enter a learning mode, reducing my anxiety. By considering negotiation the first creative activity in a project, I create the opportunity to shape the project to meet my needs and those of the client. For me, replacing negotiation with investigation eliminates the potential for conflict…
New essays, every week.
With an illustration.
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Also available on Substack.
You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.
— Larry Coffman, PublisherYour writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.
— Rick GoreWe can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.
— Sarah EskandarpourI loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.
— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore