Blog

Essays on creative leadership,
culture, and the human side of work.

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Becoming

These are personal essays about growing up as a fostered, then adopted child — and about what that does to a person over the course of a life and career. The passivity you develop to survive. The shame that shows up uninvited in elevators and conference rooms decades later. The moment you finally recognize the bully pattern, in a boss, in a father, in yourself.

The most-read piece opens with a meat cleaver. My wife, coming down the hall. Me, curled under the covers at thirty years old, having just been fired and not yet told her. It’s not a comfortable essay. But by the end, it explains — more directly than anything else I’ve written — why I understand what happens to people when they’re made to feel small at work, and why that understanding is the foundation of everything I do professionally.

These essays aren’t separate from my advisory work. They are the source of it.

Advisory Notes

These are essays about the emotional realities of creative professional life — the anxiety of leadership, the psychology of negotiation, the particular ways creative people get in their own way, and the particular ways organizations let them down.

One of the most-read pieces, “Why Creative Firms Break Differently,” argues that creative firms don’t fail from bad strategy — they unravel from the inside, through fatigue, misalignment, and a gradual loss of trust no one can quite name. That piece captures what all of these essays are reaching toward.

I write from four decades of experience inside creative firms, but I write the way I talk: directly, without jargon, with stories. Each piece includes one of my own illustrations. If you work in a creative firm and ever feel like the game is rigged against you, this series is for you.

Creative, Mutual Mentors, Negotiation .5 minute read

“Just won the brochure project I was unsure about and I credit team MM for helping me lead with inspiration! That new business only took about 6 months to cultivate.” This welcome note from Bez Palmer of Moonraker Creative greeted me and the rest of last Saturday’s group this morning. This is exactly the purpose…

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Bullying, Emotions, Negotiation 1 minute read

When an unexpected blow opens up possibilities “…and I’m reducing your salary 25%.” I could see that he was extremely uncomfortable. He spoke in a voice that didn’t sound like him. It was lower in tone, almost as if his throat was restricted. I knew it was nerves. I knew things weren’t going well when…

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Bullying, Economy, Negotiation .5 minute read

“Now, honey, I’m sure we can find a way to reduce the rent.” It was late. Maybe around ten, my boss’s voice drifted back through the empty office. I was alone and finishing my work when I overheard his half of the conversation. All ears now thinking that it must be sex he was expecting.…

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Creative, Emotions, Fast Company, Negotiation 3 minute read

In order to negotiate better, freelancers need to learn to love the fear of asking for more. (It’s not bravery or some magical power that helped me become a better negotiator; it was raw fear.) Fear can make us unable to think, unable to move. I’ve been so gripped by fear that my feet felt…

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Emotions, Fast Company, Negotiation 6 minute read

(published in Fast Company today) “I want to raise my rates from $90 to $125 an hour.” That was the first thing Jessica said on the call. It was followed by, “My accountant advised it.” Quickly followed by, “How do I tell my clients?” It’s a question I get asked all the time. Before I…

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Emotions, Negotiation 5 minute read

“You must separate yourself from your work.” I listened. Took in the thought. But didn’t connect completely with his meaning. (My writing is personal. I write to help others and so readers and my clients come to know me better.) There I was, sitting in a seminar about negotiation with a bunch of business types.…

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Bullying, Emotions, Negotiation 5 minute read

This is the epic story of the birth of the brand NED, which stands for Not Entirely Dead, a brand inspired by Eason Yang’s personal cancer treatment experience. Doctors use the term NED when all symptoms of cancer are gone –– which, in their terms, means “No Evidence of Disease.” Once Eason reached that status,…

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You never cease to amaze me with your willingness to make your life an open book — especially the more hurtful parts. And I'm amazed by the lessons you draw from all of it.

— Larry Coffman, Publisher
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Your writing has revealed some very intimate, powerful lessons. You are a source of inspiration both professionally and, increasingly, on a personal level.

— Rick Gore
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We can discuss the ugly, uncomfortable truths while always circling back to what matters: the people, the underdogs, the work we get to do, and the magical existence we get to share as creatives.

— Sarah Eskandarpour
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I loved your article about how clients' emotions affect briefs. It's a huge part of the creative industry and it's always good to see somebody so knowledgeable write about it.

— Vuk Bojovic, JKR Account Director, Singapore